| Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. |
| We the willing, following the unknowing are doing the impossible. We have done so much for so long with so little that we are now able to do anything with nothing. |
| Complaining is good for you as long as you're not complaining to the person you're complaining about. |
| If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure. |
| If I'd known I was going to live so long, I'd have taken better care of myself. |
| Like a welcome summer rain, humor may suddenly cleanse and cool the earth, the air and you. |
| He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamposts: for support rather than illumination. |
| If you have wit, use it to please and not to hurt: you may shine like the sun in the temperate zones without scorching. |
| I realize that humor isn't for everyone. It's only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive. |
| Humor is that which most efficiently recognizes that we are living in an imperfect world, with imperfect arguments and things that are insane, illogical, and irrational. And the only way we can live with that fact is to laugh. |