| Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not; a sense of humor to console him for what he is. |
| Try praising your wife, even if it does frighten her at first. |
| If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers. |
| It takes a lot of experience for a girl to kiss like a beginner. |
| When I want to end a relationship I just say, 'You know, I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have your children.' Sometimes they leave skid marks. |
| There are three types of people in this world: those who make things happen, those who watch things happen and those who wonder what happened. |
| Only a fool expects to be happy all the time. |
| I am patient with stupidity but not with those who are proud of it. |
| Make crime pay, become a lawyer. |
| The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other bastard die for his. |