| I normally don't brag about expensive trips... but I just got back from the Fuel Station! |
| Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He will stop at nothing to avoid them! |
| Without freedom of speech, we would never know who the idiots are! |
| A lady approached me, and said, "Every time you smile, I want to give you my number!" I said, "Aww that's sweet. Are you single?" She replied, "No. I'm a dentist!" |
| Waitress: How did you find your steak, Sir? I just looked next to the potatoes and there it was! |
| Shaadi Karni Hai Toh Apni Girlfriend Se Karo... Dusre Ki Girlfriend Se Toh Gharwale Bhi Karwa Dete Hain! |
| I made a graph showing all my past relationships. It has an ex-axis and a why-axis! |
| Just In: The Russian vaccine will be sold in India as Putinjali! |
| My wife and kids are threatening to walk out of the house because of my addiction to horse racing. And they're off! |
| Only 20 people are allowed to gather for a funeral - because the spirit has already left the body. 100s are allowed to gather at a liquor shop - because the spirit has to enter the body! |
