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Upload to Facebook Every morning after waking up, the first thing I do is make my bed.
Tomorrow I'm returning this piece of junk to IKEA! -
Upload to Facebook Parents have progressed from not believing what's online to believing all internet posts are real! -
Upload to Facebook The reason most people buy new phones is not that they want a new phone it's because they need something new to show off! -
Upload to Facebook Therapist: What brings you in today?
Man: I have a terrible fear of Tsunamis.
Therapist: How bad is it?
Man: It comes in waves! -
Upload to Facebook I quit my job as a mailman when they handed me my first letter to deliver.
I looked at it and thought, "This isn't for me!" -
Upload to Facebook Just heard a man had an accident while playing 'peek-a-boo'.
He's currently in the 'ICU'! -
Upload to Facebook Modern appliances are really spying on us and sending back data on our habits.
It's not new... Vacuum cleaners have been gathering dirt on us for years! -
Upload to Facebook Even the most spiritual beings want their Tupperware boxes back! -
Upload to Facebook So I named my phone Titanic.
Now, whenever I use Bluetooth it says that Titanic is syncing! -
Upload to Facebook My friend was bragging that his new 3D printer can print a gun.
Big deal. I have had a Canon printer for years!
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