Adulting is knowing it's never too late to correct yourself! |
If the present situation continues, 'Car' may be added to the immovable property list! |
Just heard about a dwarf who was pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low? |
The first 40 years of life are always the hardest! |
Now that I have lived through an actual plague, I totally understand why Italian Renaissance paintings are full of naked fat people laying on couches! |
I am suspicious of people who don't like dogs. But I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person! |
I've got a condition that causes me to make terrible puns. It's a dad-ly disease! |
The 20s - Invite everyone! The more the merrier. The 50s - Do we have to have a party? I hate everyone! |
Ancient Egyptian architect: "Do you know how to build a pyramid?" Ancient Egyptian builder: "Well, err yeah, up to a point!" |
I hope my kids know I don't really mean all the things this pandemic has forced me to say! |