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Now that I have lived through an actual plague, I totally understand why Italian Renaissance paintings are full of naked fat people laying on couches! -
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I am suspicious of people who don't like dogs.
But I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person! -
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I've got a condition that causes me to make terrible puns.
It's a dad-ly disease! -
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The 20s - Invite everyone! The more the merrier.
The 50s - Do we have to have a party? I hate everyone! -
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Ancient Egyptian architect: "Do you know how to build a pyramid?"
Ancient Egyptian builder: "Well, err yeah, up to a point!" -
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I hope my kids know I don't really mean all the things this pandemic has forced me to say! -
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Being on vacation with kids is a great reminder of why you should never be on vacation with kids! -
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Indian parents don't say 'Good Morning'.
They switch off the fan! -
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I hate it when I wake up in the morning & I still have to be a responsible adult! -
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Do you remember, before the internet people thought the cause of stupidity was the lack of access to the information?
Yeah. It wasn't that!
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