| Did you know that drinking 2 to 3 glasses of wine per day can reduce your risk of giving a shit! |
| I'm single, so don't ask me for advice... . . . . . . . . . . I promote breakups! |
| After I drink coffee I like to show the empty mug to the IT guy to tell him that I've successfully installed Java! |
| Shame on you beautiful ladies... . . . . . . . . . . Days are hotter than you! |
| Most conflicts can be resolved over drinks! |
| Dear Plant Eaters, Chicken never gave oxygen, Chicken never gave shade, lose of chicken never caused global warming, then why to eat the good plants and trees? Try Chicken - Go Green! |
| Thought of the day: One of the best hearing aids a man can have is an attentive wife! |
| I work so I can afford the amount of alcohol required to continue going to work! |
| You can't buy happiness, but you can buy scotch. That's the kind of same thing! |
| You could call me at 2 A.M. and I would not mind but... . . . . . . . . . If you call me at 7 A.M. in the morning I will rip your inside out! |
