| Before you complain about something your wife does, you should always walk a mile in her shoes. That way, you'll be a mile away from her and she won't hear you complaining. |
| Dear Algebra, please stop asking us to find your X. She is never coming back, and don't ask why! |
| I went to an Indian restaurant for some garlic bread. But they had naan! |
| Utna Hi Lena Glass Mein, Ki Gharwale Na Nikle Tumhari Talaash Mein! Happy Holi! |
| When I was a child, I thought nap time was a punishment! |
| Bhakt: Baba, Vishwas Aur Andh Vishwas Mein Kya Farak Hai? Baba: Jisne Daaru Di Woh Namkeen Bhi Dega, Yeh Hai Vishwas. Lekin Jisne Namkeen Diya Woh Daaru Bhi Dega, Yeh Hai Andh Vishwas! |
| A father took his six-year-old daughter to office on the "Take your kids to work day". The little girl ran around the office excitedly but soon started crying. The father and his concerned colleagues gathered around the girl trying to find out what upset her. Sobbing loudly the girl said "Daddy where are all the clowns you said you worked with?" |
| After my final visit to the dentist (number of root canals and cap), my wife said, "Your mouth has more ceramic than teeth now... you need to switch to Harpic instead of Colgate!" |
| Friend 1: You should try Yoga. It makes you relaxed, flexible and loose. Friend 2: So does Vodka. Without all that sweating! |
| Boy: Ever since I was little, I wanted to be an astronaut. Girl: Because you love space? Boy: No, because I hate the people on Earth! |
