| Science puns make me numb: . . . . . But math puns make me number! |
| When visiting someone sick: Other Countries: Get well soon. India: I know someone who died with the same illness! |
| Me: I'll never make that mistake again. Whisky: Yes you will! |
| Let's face it: After Monday and Tuesday... even the calendar says - W T F! |
| I once met an astronaut who was claustrophobic. Turns out he just needed a little space! |
| I started a band called "Blanket". It's a cover band! |
| English can be weird. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though! |
| I have friends whom I would trust with my life, but I also wouldn't trust them enough to fall asleep in front of them! |
| When my boss' 4-year-old daughter falls asleep in the office, it's cute. But when I do the same thing, it's wrong. I really don't get this! |
| After graduating, I'm no longer a `broke college student`, I'm just poor! |
