| Flu season is around. Remember to keep the alcohol level up because a shot in the glass is better than a shot in the a**! |
| It's officially "Do I have a cold because it's that time of the year or do I have coronavirus?" season! |
| My wife told me that if she ignores my looks, money, charm and success, then there's no real difference between me and George Clooney! |
| I just realized that 'In a pandemic?' is such a perfect excuse to get out of plans! |
| 'A woman, without her man, is nothing.' 'A woman: without her, man is nothing.' Punctuation is powerful! |
| "A legend is never late, nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to." This was apparently not an acceptable response to my wife for coming home drunk at 3 am! |
| Other Countries: My son is in a relationship. In India: Hamara Ladka Kisi Chudail Ke Chakkar Mein Phans Gaya Hai! |
| I've been feeling dizzy most of the time and I was suspecting some neurological problems. I was surprised when my doctor told me that it's not any neurological issue that's causing the dizziness. It's the alcohol! |
| What do you call a pig that does Karate? Pork Chop! |
| Everyone is waiting for 2021 as if COVID expires December 31st #COVID19 #Pandemic #Corona |
