| The lottery is a cheat code in life but you have to guess it right! |
| She dimmed the lights. She leaned in. She looked straight into my eyes. I kissed her. And now I am arrested by the police for misbehaving with the optician! |
| My neighbour banged on my door at 3 am, screaming and shouting hysterically, the poor fella... Luckily, I was up practicing my drums at the time! |
| Did you hear about the seafood restaurant that will give you calamari in exchange for money? They practice 'squid pro quo'! |
| When a friend buys a new sim card. Abroad: Hey! This is my new number. Update it. India: Hello! Main Puja Bol Rahi Hun! |
| Sabko School Mein Pata Tha Ki Sardaron Se Panga Nahin Lene Ka... Par Agar Koi School Hi Na Gaya Ho, Toh Use Kaun Samjhaye! |
| Things not to say on a first date: 1. How much do you weigh? 2. I forgot my wallet 3. Do you know my wife? |
| At the hospital, I saw a guy unplugging a patient's ventilator to plug in his mobile phone for charging. So stupid. Doesn't he know that the voltage in the ventilator socket is very high and it can cause damage to his phone? |
| Teacher: What is the opposite of Valentine? Student: Quarantine. Teacher: How? Student: Because on Valentine, two people sit very close to each other and Quarantine very far from each other! |
| If you don't wear the right clothes when you go for a run, you look like an insane person! |
