| Banta: What is the secret to eternal happiness? Santa: To not argue with fools. Banta: I disagree. Santa: Yes, you are right! |
| Jeeto: You are useless. Pappu: Dad, am I useless? Santa: No, you are not useless. I can still use you as an example of Useless! |
| Santa: Why did the tomato blush? Banta: Why? Santa: Because he saw the salad dressing! |
| Banta: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Santa: Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump! |
| Jeeto: What is more important to you? Relationship or Alcohol? Santa: Relationship with Alcohol! |
| Interviewer: It says on your resume that you went to Harvard University. Santa: Yes, I was visiting my friend! |
| Pappu: How much does it cost to get married? Santa: No idea, I'm still paying for it! |
| Santa: I want to divorce my wife. Lawyer: On what Grounds? Santa: She's out all night, every night, going from bar to bar. Lawyer: Are you saying she's an alcoholic or do you think she's cheating on you? Santa: No, she's looking for me! |
| Doctor: Have you been drinking enough fluids lately? Santa: That's literally all I drink! |
| Jeeto: Where on earth did you read that scotch has health benefits? Santa: Whiskeypedia! |
