| Santa: What kind of tattoo should I get? Tattoo Artist: Something you feel a strong connection with. Santa: Chhole Bhature Bana De Phir! |
| Santa: My wife should have been a Minister in the Government. She's extremely good at creating jobs. Banta: How? Santa: She creates at least 7 to 8 jobs for me every day! |
| Santa: Do you know why Akshay Kumar's wife is not a big star? Banta: Why? Santa: Because of Twinkle Twinkle little star! |
| Doctor: How did you get hurt? Santa: I told my wife that she has gained a little weight during the lockdown. And that's the last thing I remember before gaining consciousness! |
| Santa: Your eyes are beautiful. Jeeto: I got it from my dad. Santa: I think you got it from your mom. Jeeto: Why? Santa: You see fault in everything I do, just like your mom! |
| Banta: Did you ever have any near-death experience? Santa: Yes, once I told my wife "I can't watch TV, you're blocking my view" while she was vacuuming! |
| Jeeto: Can you explain why you're lazy all the time? Santa: Can I explain it tomorrow? |
| Investment banker: Do you keep your money in the bank or at home? Santa: In my memories! |
| Banta: You have started forgetting things, why don't you keep a diary? Santa: No, I don't need to maintain a diary. My wife remembers everything I've ever done! |
| Santa: Weather is like my wife these days. Banta: Oh such beautiful thought. Santa: No, not beautiful but unpredictable! |
