I would like to go on a diet, but I'm afraid my brain will get thinner and I will become narrow-minded.
So I dropped the idea!
Telling people I'm on a diet to prepare for a movie role because that sounds way better than "my wife is not letting me eat burgers"!
I have started losing my winter fat.
And now I'll have spring rolls!
The hardest part of my diet is watching my friends eat!
I hate when I finish two cheeseburgers, fries, and an apple pie...
then remember I was supposed to eat a handful of almonds!
Working out sucks but the results are awesome. Being lazy is awesome but the results suck!
Humans used to exercise to find food.
Now we exercise to get rid of food!
Trainer: It's crucial that you stick to a super high protein diet.
Me: I know, I just had a block of cheese!
Burning your body fat makes you a mass murderer!
Eyebrows. The only thing you can get in shape without exercise!