How am I supposed to lose weight?
When the best part about life is food!
Two reasons why I'm fat:
1. I eat when I'm bored
2. I'm always bored
Chocolate doesn't melt.
It's crying because you aren't eating it!
Next time someone asks you how much you weigh?
Tell them one hundred and sexy!
It's gonna take more than a wish and a prayer to get myself in last year's bathing suit!
What is unconditional love?
I looked at my Pizza!
Being healthy is the slowest possible way of dying!
According to scientists, your body sloughs all of your cells about every seven years.
After looking in the mirror again, I'm not impressed with the makeover!
Sometimes I wish that mosquitoes should suck fat instead of blood!
I am so tired and hungry, I no longer feel tired and hungry!