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If you offer me food and I refuse, ask again. I was just shy at first!

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My formal clothes have missed me so much.
I put them on yesterday and they hugged me so tight!
#Covid-19

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Issac Newton's laws are all faulty.
For example, he said what goes up must come down, but my weight once goes up, never comes down!

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Willpower is the ability to resist temptation until you can be sure that no one's looking!

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Having an online girlfriend is easier than having a real girlfriend because I don't have to suck my stomach in!

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All our friends decided to start exercising and to avoid junk food.
So my wife and I also decided to go ahead and get new friends!

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Sometimes, life bites you in the butt.
Thankfully, I have enough padding to take the hit!

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How to spot someone who's on a keto diet?
You don't have to. They will tell you!

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Food is the only thing I'd stay up past 10 PM for!

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How do you get Mexican food at the beach?
Just dig your feet into the sand, then you will have buriedtoes!