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While pressing her husband's forehead, the wife gently asked, "Shaadi Ke Pehle Tumhare Sar Kaun Dabata Tha?"
Husband gave a simple heart-touching answer, "Shaadi Se Pehle Kabhi Sar Dard Tha Hi Nahi!"

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Whenever my wife uses the phrase "I was thinking."
That means I either have to move, build, paint or buy something!

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Top three warning sounds you hear when you mess things up:
(1) Smoke detector
(2) Police siren
(3) Silent glare from wife

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Me: I had a dream that we got in a big fight.
Wife: Who won?
Me: I won.
Wife: Oh, then it's definitely a dream!

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Before marriage, a man dates a woman.
After marriage, a woman mandates a man!

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When you're wrong and you surrender, you're an honest man.
When you're in doubt and you surrender, you're a wise man.
When you're right and you surrender, you're a married man!

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Husband: You are gaining weight. You should do a little exercise.
Wife: I am only 33 kg.
Husband: How?
Wife: You always tell me I am as beautiful as the moon. I cannot be more than 33 kg on the moon!

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Me: Why have you kept my bags & belongings outside?
Wife: You said you're leaving.
Me: That was for work!

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I and my wife are so like-minded.
Whatever I like, she minds!

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Pray if you believe in God. Disagree with your wife if you want to meet Him!