Pro Tip:
You can know all the things wrong about you from your wife by simply forgetting her birthday!
Various researchers and studies found that if women sleep long hours, it reduces brain strokes, blood pressure, diabetes and heart attacks in men!
Woman 1: You said you wouldn't marry anyone. Men are animals. Still, you agreed to marry a guy!
Woman 2: It is not a bad idea to pet an animal!
Wife: Ugh I gained 3 lbs during vacation. What about you?
Me (looking at scale showing I actually lost a pound): I gained 4!
Carpets are dangerous. My wife tripped over it and I ended up sleeping on the sofa.
Okay, I laughed when she fell, but still!
For our anniversary dinner, my wife gave me the freedom to choose whichever restaurant she wants me to choose!
Wife: You need to exercise more often.
Me showing fitness app on phone: See, I did 5,200 steps last night.
Wife: True, but those steps were around the dinner buffet!
They say early morning dreams come true.
Today I had a dream about winning an argument with my wife, so finally.. wait, I also had a dream about meeting Santa Claus. Forget it!
During an argument with her husband, a wife was just about to calm down.
But then her husband asked her to calm down!
First-year of marriage: I can't even imagine living without you.
The tenth year of marriage: Maybe you should buy a new house and move out!