I winked at my wife and told her that we should try something different in the bedroom.
So she handed me the vacuum cleaner and told me to start cleaning the bedroom!
The doctor told my wife that she cannot touch anything alcoholic for the next three months.
Now I'm not allowed to go near her!
Of course, men and women can be friends without being attracted to each other.
It's called "marriage!"
My wife is coming home tonight after a week-long official trip. So you guys know what I'm getting tonight.
Yelled at. Yes, I'm gonna get yelled at for making the house a mess!
Tequila is like marriage. You know that it's bad for you & may regret it later.
But you're curious and do it anyway!
I'm a grown-up and mature man and I do whatever the hell my wife wants me to do.
Period!
My wife said, "You really have no sense of direction, do you?"
I said, "Where did that come from?"
I have become a successful husband by letting my wife speak all the time!
To be safe, I bought my wife a Father's Day gift!
You don't realize the importance of a pedicure in your life until the day you don't notice your wife's!