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~ Ellen DegeneresI really don't think I need buns of steel. I'd be happy with buns of cinnamon. -
~ Author UnknownI considered atheism, but there weren't enough holidays. -
![I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.]()
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~ Rodney DangerfieldI found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people. -
![The next time you have a thought... let it go.]()
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~ Ron WhiteThe next time you have a thought... let it go. -
![A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists.]()
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~ Don MarquisA pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists. -
~ James L. BrooksI value comedy. I value somebody who can be funny. -
~ Mitch HedbergMy fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them. -
![I miss my wife's cooking - as often as I can.]()
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~ Henny YoungmanI miss my wife's cooking - as often as I can. -
![Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.]()
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~ Elbert HubbardDo not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive. -
~ Cary GrantInsanity runs in my family. It practically gallops.
