Mature Jokes


Tightening Lug Nuts

Father Harris was motoring along a country lane in his parish on a spring afternoon when all of a sudden he got a flat tire. Exasperated, the priest stopped his car, got out, and assessed the damage...

Naked Painter

I`ve lived a few years in my home, and the pretty neighbour next door and I always flirted with each other, despite her being married. One day, when speaking to her husband, he said, "I need to have my apartment...

False Accusation

A couple was on vacation up in the woods. One morning, the husband got up before dawn, went fishing and returned, just as his wife was rising. While he slept, she decided to take his boat out to the middle of the lake...

Gym Shorts

Two guys were walking down the street one day when they came across a small pair of gym shorts on the ground. They decided to put a sign up on the church bulletin board so the rightful owner...

Stiff Neck!

A man went to visit his grandparents and arrived to find his grandpa sitting on the front porch, in the rocking chair, with nothing on from the waist down. "Grandpa, what are you doing?" he exclaimed...

The Sheikh's Punishment

Three guys were on a trip to Saudi Arabia. One day, they stumbled into a harem tent filled with over 100 beautiful women. They started getting friendly with all the women, when suddenly the Sheikh came in...

Catatonic Sleep

A doctor drives by a small town. He stops at a gas station & notices there is no one there. A little kid passes by & tells him the gas station is closed because everyone is a the funeral...

It was time for Father John`s Saturday night bath and the young nun, Sister Magdalene, had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed...

Deja Screw

The pick-up couple was relaxing after a satisfying session of lovemaking. The guy considered himself lucky to have been able to attract and bed such a luscious looking dish. He was even considering...

Nice Balls!

A man standing at a urinal notices that he`s being watched by a midget. "Wow," comments the midget. "Those are the nicest balls I have ever seen!"
Surprised and flattered, the man thanks the midget...