Mature Jokes


New Hooker and Her First Trick

The new hooker just finished her first trick. When she came back down to the street, the seasoned veterans all gathered around to hear the details. She said, "well, he was a big muscular and...

New Mink Coat

Three members of a weekly female bridge quartet were duly impressed when the fourth arrived wearing a gorgeous new mink coat.
"That`s a lovely garment Joan," purred Kay. "It must have cost...

New SCAM to Lookout For!!!

I don`t know how many of you visit the MGM Grand Casino but this may be useful to know. I have become a victim of a clever scam when using the casino`s car parking facility. This happened to me and...

The Wrong Key!

One knight told his best friend, "My bride is without doubt one of the most beautiful women in the world. It would be a terrible waste if no man could have her. Therefore, as my best and most trusted friend, I am leaving...

That Son of a Bitch Can Drive

There was this woman sitting on a park bench muttering to herself and spitting. She would mutter, then spit, mutter, then spit, she would say, "Damn, that sonofabitch can drive," then spit, "Damn, that sonofabitch can drive...

A Date With An Intellectual Man

Two hot young ladies are talking one afternoon about the weekend just past. The first named Faba, and the second, Mujo, discussed Faba`s last date. "You know what Mujo, I was out last night with an intellectual type...

Guess My New Name?

A redneck named Bubba was tired of hearing redneck jokes that used the name, Bubba. He went to court and changed his name. The judge asked,"and what name do you want it changed to?"
He said, "Candy...

I Fucked Her In The Bed Yesterday

Professor Ernest Brennecke of Columbia is credited with inventing a sentence that can be made to have eight different meanings by placing ONE WORD in all possible positions in the sentence: "I fucked her in the bed yesterday....

Next Life

Three Texans were in a bar throwing back a few, while they were discussing the meaning of life. The conversation grew deeper and deeper when one of the gents started talking about reincarnation...

Old Lady Story

Bill decided to try his hand at a new job and secured one as a used car salesman. He had no experience in this field but he figured he could use the old sales pitch that the car was like brand-new and had...