Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.
If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
It ain`t the jeans that make your butt look fat.
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
Don`t worry about what people think; they don`t do it very often.
You are not a chemical so think twice before you react!