If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
Winners make goals, losers make excuses.
Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.
Women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.
A minute's success pays the failure of years.
On a Septic Tank Truck: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels.
I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.
On a plumber's truck: 'We repair what your husband fixed.'
The only disability in life is a bad attitude.
In a Podiatrist's office: 'Time wounds all heels.'