Never make forecasts, especially about the future.
Exercise is bunk. If you are healthy, you don't need it; if you are sick, you shouldn't take it.
Sure, there's no 'i' in team, but there is an 'm' and an 'e'
The most welcome person is the one who knows when to go
To escape criticism - do nothing, say nothing, be nothing
Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory
The test of good manners is to be patient with the bad ones
I used to think I could pass gas silently until I got my hearing aid
He who hesitates is constipated
Passwords are like underwear: change them often