A blonde went into a pet shop and asked the owner if he had any parrots. The owner replied, "Sorry, I don't have any at the moment."
"Damn!" said the blonde, "I've been invited to a fancy masquerade party for the first time in my life, and I've been told to be as authentic as possible. I'm going as a pirate, and that's why I need the parrot,` explained the blonde.
"Well" said the owner, "if you come back here next week, specifically on Thursday, I am expecting a shipment from South America and I'll be able to supply you with a parrot, guaranteed."
"Damn!" said the blonde, "I can't come on that day or for some time after."
"Why not?" Asked the owner.
"Because that is the day I'm having my leg amputated!"