Clean Jokes

A man leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. 200 yards further he’s stopped by a police officer.Officer: 'Good evening sir. We’re testing drivers for drunken driving. Would you please...

Every afternoon this guy goes into the bar and orders 4 shots of scotch at the same time, then proceeds to drink them all. One day the bartender asks him why he orders all 4 at once and the guy replies that he has...

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He goes back into the bar, handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling and said....

A drunk walks into a bar and says, 'Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself one, and give me the bill.'So, the bartender does just that, and hands the man the...

Two men started in a bar and then had a couple of drinks together.
'Look', said one,'I want to treat you now, but I`ve no more money with me. I`ll just go back to my wife and...

A man saw his friend limping badly as he came towards him he asked about his injured leg. His friend said that he didn`t have enough to drink last evening that is why his leg got injured.But he was not satisfied so he asked him, 'How come...

Some ladies, who were determined to put an end to drinking in their colony, went to the house of a retired Army Officer one evening.
'When did you last have...

A meat counter clerk, who was drunk and had a particularly good day, proudly flipped his last chicken on a scale and weighed it.That will be ...

This drunk gets on a bus and asks the driver how long the trip is between Limerick and Cork. Driver said that its about two hours. He again asks the driver that how long the trip is between....

It was the morning after, and he sat groaning and holding his head. 'Well, if you hadn`t drunk so much last night you wouldn`t feel...