The Gold Urinal
A guy comes home completely drunk one night. He lurches through the door and is met by his scowling wife, who is most definitely not happy.
"Where the hell have you been all night?" she demands...
Less I Drink...
A bloke went into a pub, sat down at the bar and ordered five pots. The barman wondered since he was alone, but served up the five pots. And the bloke downed them all... one, two, three, four, five. As he finished the last one...
Drinkers are Practical People
A Lady was conducting her anti drinking campaign outside a bar. A man came out of the Bar exuding alcohol fumes and the Lady said, "Reflect !!! If you arrive at the Gates of Heaven with your breath smelling of liquor...
Drink Fault-Finding Guide
Symptom: Drinking fails to give satisfaction and taste; shirt front is wet.
Fault: Mouth not open or glass being applied to wrong part of face.
Solution: Buy another pint...
Compulsive Disorder
A man walked into a bar and ordered a glass of white wine. He took a sip of the wine, then tossed the remainder in the bartender`s face. Before the bartender could recover from the surprise, the man began weeping...
The Practical People
A Lady was conducting her anti drinking campaign outside a bar. A man came out of the Bar exuding alcohol fumes and the Lady said, "Reflect !!! If you arrive at the Gates of Heaven with your breath smelling of liquor...
Condemned By a Nun
A guy was in New York on a business trip and decided to head to a local bar for a drink. Standing outside the bar was a nun holding a tin cup.
As the man threw...
Warm Beer!!!
A man in the pub orders a beer. He gets it and begins to drink it and notices the beer is kind of warm. So he mentions something to the bartender, who tells him to shut up and just drink his beer. Then it is time to pay...
Getting Drunk
Two men are in a bar getting drunk. Suddenly one of them throws up all over himself. He says, "Oh, no. Now my wife will kill me."
His friend says, "Don`t worry. Just tuck...
Scotch & Water
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says, "I`m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it`s today. The bartender says, "Well, since it`s...