Clean Jokes

A woman went to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother.
The psychic's eyelids begin fluttering and she begins moaning. Eventually, a voice comes...

There was a costume party at a mental hospital; the theme of the party was 'war'.
The first person comes up onto the stage and says...

An old man goes to his doctor, complaining about a pain in his leg that doesn't heal and wants a diagnosis and explanation. The doctor checks out his leg, but can't find anything wrong. So he gives the old guy a full...

A Doctor gets taken short up in the middle of the night and finds his toilet is completely blocked.
He says to his wife, 'I'm going to have to call a plumber.'
The wife replies...

A man was wheeling himself frantically down the hall of the hospital in his wheelchair, just before his operation.
A nurse stopped him, and asked...

A young woman wasn't feeling well, and asked one of her co-workers to recommend a physician.
'I know a great one in the city, but he is very expensive. One thousand rupees for the first visit, and one hundred rupees for each one after...

The orthopedic surgeon Joe work for was moving to a new office, and his staff was helping transport many of the items.
Joe sat the display skeleton in the front of his car, his bony arm across the back...

This older man was on the operating table awaiting surgery and he insisted that his son, a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.
As he was about to receive...

A Blonde brought her baby in to see the doctor, and right away he determined that baby had an ear ache.
Doctor wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote, 'Put two drops in right ear every four hours' and he abbreviated 'right' as an R with a circle...