Clean Jokes

A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.
`The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting

There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side.
His eyes fluttered open and he said...

One evening, a young lady came home from a date, rather sad.
She told her mother, "Anthony proposed to me an hour ago."
"Then why are you so sad...

"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set...

A police officer, though scheduled for all-night duty at the station, was relieved of duty early and arrived home four hours ahead of schedule, at 2 in the morning. Not wanting to wake his wife...

A wife comes home late at night and quietly opens the door to her bedroom. From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two...

A husband and wife are shopping in their local Wal-Mart. The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart.
'What do you think you're doing...

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you forever. I've been a good man to you for 7 years and I have nothing to show for...

A woman went to the mall to buy Valentine's Day cards for her son and father.
The 50 feet of displays for hundreds of cards astounded...

After just a few years of marriage filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling...