Mature Jokes

Defense Attorney: Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady: I am 72 years old.
Defence Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady: There I was, sitting there in my....

A man goes into a hamburger stand and orders a burger. The waitress takes out two frozen patties and sticks them under her arms.
The man says, "What the heck are you doing...

Do Ladkiyaan Aapas Mein Ek-Dusre Se Baatein Kar Rahi Thi.
Pehli: Kal Mera First Time Tha.
Dusri: Oh Really, Kya Hua?
Pehli: Shuru Mein Dheere-Dheere Andar Liya Aur Dheere Se Bahar...

A Negro wanted to go to a fancy dress party. He told his Indian wife to get a costume. Wife gets a snowman suit.
Negro: WTF!!! You bloody Indian... have you seen a black snowman! Get me another one...

Teacher Sex Education Ke Period Mein Bachho Ko Samjha Rahi Thi.
Teacher: Sex Ke Time Condom Use Karne Se Safety Bhi Rahti Hai Aur Enjoyment Mein Fark Nahi Padta.
Ek Ladki Jisne Pehle Sex Kiya Hua Tha...

A blonde and her redhead friend were talking about sex...
Blonde: Tell me, what is sex ?
Redhead: Sex is when you dress up, go to a bar, flirt with a guy, he buys you drinks. You go to bed and he leaves some...

A very well-built young blonde was lying on her psychiatrist`s couch, telling him how frustrated she was. "I tried to be an actress and failed," she complained.
"I tried to be a secretary and failed...

John and Mary had been high school sweethearts, but they had never had sex. "We`ll have to wait until we are married," she told him. So he waits. They are engaged three years, and finally the big day...

A rich widow dies in a car accident with one of her many lovers. As she faces St. Peter he aks her if she has any special requests before he sends her on...

On his 70th birthday, a man was given a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate was for consultation with an Indian...