Mature Jokes

An older couple are playing in the annual club championship. They are playing in a play off hole and it is down to a 6 inch putt that the wife has to make. She takes her stance...

An old man in the nursing home got a bottle of wine for his birthday. He talked the old lady in the next room into sharing it with him. After they were both totally bombed...

Me: Say `I am a man` after everything I say.
Friend: Alright.
Me: You broke up with your girlfriend.
Friend: I am a man....

A man goes to a railway station and looks to board the train which would take him to the place he wanted to go. He sees that all the compartments are full and that there is place...

Antique Question:
What`s the difference between movies having Certificate - U, A, XX, XXX?
U: Hero gets the heroine....

A guy walks in to a bar and sits down, just a few seats from him there is a very buxom blonde with huge size 42CC breasts. The guy orders a beer. The bartender fills the mug and...

PUSSY meant a CAT.
< SEX meant the GENDER of a person.
BITCH meant a FEMALE DOG.
DICK was the name of...

A bartender in a gay bar was getting ready to close for the night when a robber with a ski mask burst in and pulls a gun. He yells to the bartender, "This is a stick-up...

Maude and Claude, both in thier 80s, lived in a retirement community. They met in the social center and discovered over time that they enjoyed each other`s company. After several weeks of meeting...

A man walked into a Wal-Mart and the Greeter said, "Automotive, aisle 15."
The man asked, "How did you know I was here to get oil?"
The Greeter replied, "That`s my job...