A Matter of Degrees
Two old drunks were drinking up at a bar. The first one says, "Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn`t bend my dick with both hands. By the time I was 40, I could bend it...
Hypnosis Success
A Woman comes home and tells her husband, "Remember those headaches I`ve been having all these years? Well, they`re gone."
"No more headaches?" the husband asks...
No Sharing Please
An Australian is walking across the Welsh countryside when he spots a Welshman in one of the fields, going hard at it with one of his sheep.
With no hesitation, the man jumps over the fence and walks over to the Welshman, tapping him on the shoulder.
"You know mate, back where I'm from, we shear those."
The Welshman looks around frantically.
"Fuck off mate!" he says, "I`m not sharing this with no-one!"
Anniversary Gifts
A rich man and a poor man have the same wedding anniversary. The poor man asks the rich man, "What did you get your wife this year?"
"I got her a Mercedes and a huge...
Filing IT Returns
A young woman walks into a Chartered accountant`s office and tells him that she needs to file her tax Returns. The accountant says, "Before we begin, I`ll need to ask you a few questions...
Previous Occupation
A girl wanting to be recruited during World War II, was required to fill in an application form.
In the space opposite `Previous Occupation` she entered `Prostitute...
Too Late to Hurry!
The four newlyweds spent their honeymoon at the Niagara Falls. They occupied adjoining rooms, sat at the same table, and were inseparable.
One evening after dinner as they were returning...
The Tent Pole is Up
John woke up one morning immensely aroused so he turned over to his wife's side of the bed. His wife, Heather, had already awakened though, and she was downstairs preparing breakfast in the kitchen. Afraid that...
Legally Blonde
One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides...
In Love with a Proctologist
A gay guy falls in love with a proctologist. He goes to the proctologist`s office and says that he has an obstruction. So the proctologist sticks his hand up the guy`s ass but...
