Mature Jokes

There was a lady and she really wanted to have sex, but she was to scared to ask her husband so she went to a gipsy and told her her problem. The gipsy rummaged around in a chest and pulled out a pickle jar with a penis...

"Sorry, your password has been in use for 30 days and has expired - you must register a new one."
roses
"Sorry, too few characters...

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair...

DEAR DIARY: DAY 1
All packed for the cruise ship - all my sexiest dresses and make-up. Really excited.
DEAR DIARY: DAY 2

Sadie had been widowed for a few years and very lonely, and finally consented to going out on a date with Smith, the gentleman her daughter fixed her up with...

A Gujarati girl goes to a shopkeeper and asks: Bhaiya aapke yahan rape hota hai kya?

Shopkeeper (shocked: Madam, aage ki dukaan mein...

A secretary got an expensive PEN as birthday gift from his boss. She sent his boss a `Thank You Note` via e-mail. His wife read the text and filed a divorce. The message was...

This guy approaches the Madam of a local whorehouse and says, "Madam, I`m ready to spend top dollar here, but I have some very specific requirements. Do you think you can meet them....

Boss was fucking a lady in his office, Santa walked in.

Santa: Wah Sir, akele akele!!! Humara number kab?

Boss: Agar March ka target pura nahi hua bhosdike to agala number tera hi hai.

A guy who went into the adult section of a department store to buy condoms. The female clerk told him, "We have the rainbow assortment on sale today...