Clean Jokes

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous Banta who ran a small business that he had started himself.
'I need someone with an accounting degree,' Banta said. 'But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my...

Santa goes into the dentist's office to get a bad tooth pulled. As he opens his mouth and the dentist is about to drill, he asks how long the procedure will take.'You'll be out of here before you know it, and won't feel a thing...

Santa had just gotten a new car and was out for a drive when he accidentally cut off a truck driver. Truck driver motioned for Santa to pull over.
When Santa did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket. He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded to Santa, 'Stand in that...

A man with no arms walked up to a bar and asked for a beer.
Santa, the bartender, shoved the foaming glass in front of him.
'Look,' said the customer, 'I have no arms- would you please hold the glass up to my mouth?'
'Sure', said santa, and he did.
'Now,' said the customer, 'I wonder if you...

Santa was on the side of the road hitch hiking on a very dark night and in the middle of a storm. The night was rolling and no car went by.
The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car coming towards him and stop.
Santa, without thinking about it, got in the car and...

Banta was very much in love with a beautiful girl.
One day she told him that the next day was her birthday. Banta told her he would send her a bouquet of roses... one for each year of her life.
That evening Banta called the local florist and ...

Santa was delighted with the way the painter had done all the work on his house.
'You did a great job.' he said and handed the man a check.
'Also, in order to thank-you, here`s an extra Five hundred rupees to take the Mrs out to dinner and a movie.'
Later that night...

Banta, 'Preeto and I are going to get a divorce'.
Santa was stunned. 'Why? What happened, you two seem so happy together'
'Well' he said, 'ever since we got married, Preeto has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking, running around at all hours of the night and...

Banta lost both ears in an accident. No plastic surgeon could offer him a solution. He heard of a very good one in Mumbai, and went to him.
The new surgeon examined him, thought a while, and said...

Santa heard his son reciting his homework:
'Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch...`''Shut up !' shouted furoius Santa.
'Watch...