Clean Jokes

Banta and Preeto decided to celebrate their 25th Wedding Anniversary with a trip to Mumbai. When they entered the hotel and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt became very friendly. Banta brushed her off.
Preeto objected, 'That young woman was nice, and you were so rude.'
'Preeto, she`s a prostitute.'
'I don`t believe you. That sweet...

Santa leaves a bar, gets into his car and drives away. A mile down the road, he`s stopped by a police officer.
The officer walked up to the driver`s side window holding a Breathalyzer and said, 'Good evening sir. We`re testing for drunk driving. Would you please blow into this machine?'
Santa replied, 'I`m sorry, I can`t...

Santa was one of the four persons who were in the final stages of interviewing for a prestigious job. The Company decided to fly them all in for dinner and a final interview.
Over dinner at a fine restaurant, the president of the company told them that all were very worthy applicants, and that he wished he could hire them all, but that they only had enough money budgeted to hire one person. He told them that...

Santa is going out of town and needs to board his horse for a couple of months.
So he asks a local farmer about it and the farmer says, 'Sure, but I charge rupess 500 per week, and I keep the manure.'
Santa told him that he can`t afford this, so the farmer refers him to...

A motorcycle cop on patrol watched as Banta in a car slowed down at a stop sign, without coming to a complete stop, then sped off.
The motorcycle cop pulled the vehicle over and approached Banta.
'Sir, can I please see your license and rgistration.'
Banta replies, 'Not until you tell me what...

Banta is pulled over by the same motorcycle cop who caught him earlier last month for not stopping at lights and beat him up. So Banta decides to go for a revenge this time.
Banta: Is there a problem Officer?
Cop: Sir, you were speeding.
Banta: Oh I see.
Cop: Can I see your licence please?
Banta: I`d give it to you but...

Three guys were trying to sneak into the Asian Games Village at Busan,South Korea to scoop souvenirs and autographs.
The first says, 'Let`s watch the registration table to see if there`s a crack in the security system that we can utilize to scam our way in.'Immediately, a burly athlete walks up to the table and states...

Santa went on a vacation to the Middle East with most of his family including his mother-in-law. During their vacation and while they were visiting Jerusalem, Santa`s mother-in-law died.
With the death certificate in hand, Santa went to the Indian Consulate Office to make arrangements to send the body back to Punjab, India for a proper funeral ceremony.
The Consul, after hearing of the death of the mother-in-law told Santa...

Santa was wandering around in a field, thinking about how good his wife, Jeeto had been to him, and how fortunate he was to have her.
He asked God, 'Why did you make her so kind hearted?'
The Lord responded, 'So you could love her, my son.'
'Why did you make her so...

Banta is looking to buy a saw to cut down some trees in his back yard. He goes to a chainsaw shop and asks about various chainsaws.
The dealer tells him, 'Look, I have a lot of models, but why don`t you save yourself a lot of time and aggravation and get the top-of-the-line model. This chainsaw will cut a hundred of trees for you in one day.'
So, Banta takes the chainsaw home and...