Clean Jokes

Santa was recently hired at an office. His first task was to go out for coffee. Eager to do well his first day on the job, he grabbed a thermos and...

Santa and his girlfriend were out driving one day. He noticed that she kept looking at him and smiling.
Then she leaned over and whispered in his ear...

Santa was having trouble with his computer. So he called the computer guy, over to his desk.
He clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem.
As he was walking away, Santa called after him, 'So, what was wrong?'
He replied...

A plane was taking off from New Delhi Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the pilot made an announnncement over the intercom.
'Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain...

Santa stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, 'I have a complaint!'
'Yes, Sir ?' said the librarian looking up at him.'I borrowed a book last week and it was...

Santa walks into a bar and rudely demands a shot of 12-yr old scotch. The bartender thinks 'this guy doesn`t know the difference,' so he pours a shot of 2-year old scotch. Santa takes one sip and spits it out. He promptly hollers at the bartender...

Santa was invited to his friend`s home for dinner. Banta, the host, preceded every request to his wife, Preeto, by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling...

Santa observed a sign in the window of a restaurant that read 'Unique Breakfast' so he walked in and sat down. The waitress brought him his coffee and asked him what he wanted.
Santa: 'What`s your `Unique Breakfast?`'

Santa and Banta were talking one day. 'My wife asked me to buy ORGANIC vegetables from the produce market.' said Santa.
'So were you able to find some?'
'Well when I got to the market...

Banta went to helicopter flight training, wanting to learn to fly that day. The owner agreed to him up, and instruct him by radio. He showed him the start up, and basic procedures, and up he went. At 1000 feet...