For our anniversary dinner, my wife gave me the freedom to choose whichever restaurant she wants me to choose!
She: I love your desi accent, please say it again.
He: Chingummm!
As a kid, I wasn't a fan of facial hair.
But then it started to grow on me!
You don't miss playing childhood video games. You miss the feelings, experiences, and emotions that went along with them!
Never explain yourself to anyone. You don't need anyone's approval. Live your life and do what makes you happy.
Good morning and have a great week!
Wife: You need to exercise more often.
Me showing fitness app on phone: See, I did 5,200 steps last night.
Wife: True, but those steps were around the dinner buffet!
My wife left me because I'm insecure... No wait, she's back, she just went to get coffee!
Waiter: Is Pepsi OK?
Me: I don't judge. I'm cola blind!
I did a theatrical performance about puns.
It was a play on words!
Today somebody told me that I take criticism very badly so I punched him in the face!