Top three dreams of a man:
1. To be as handsome as his mother thinks he is.
2. To be as rich as his child believes he is.
3. To have as many women as his wife suspects he has!
I was in a taxi the other day and the driver said 'do you mind if I put some music on?'
I said, "Not at all." He said, "Kiss?"
I said, "Let's listen to the music first and see how we feel!"
I've got a German friend who's a sound technician.
I've got a Czech one too. Czech one too!
ਸਲੋਕ ਮ: ੧ ॥
ਬਲਿਹਾਰੀ ਗੁਰ ਆਪਣੇ ਦਿਉਹਾੜੀ ਸਦ ਵਾਰ॥
ਜਿਨਿ ਮਾਣਸ ਤੇ ਦੇਵਤੇ ਕੀਏ ਕਰਤ ਨ ਲਾਗੀ ਵਾਰ ॥੧॥
A hundred times a day, I am a sacrifice to my Guru;
He made angels out of men, without delay.
Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji - Ang 462
Helping one person might not change the whole world, but it could change the world for one person.
Good Morning!
Patient: Doctor, over the last three days I have followed your instructions. I have not eaten any food added with preservative colour or even sprayed. I have not even touched them.
Doctor: Great! So how do you feel now?
Patient: Hungry! Extremely hungry!
Teacher: What is history?
Pappu: The process of becoming almost dead by reading the stories of the dead people is called history!
Woman 1: You said you wouldn't marry anyone. Men are animals. Still, you agreed to marry a guy!
Woman 2: It is not a bad idea to pet an animal!
Did you hear the one about the greedy peanut butter?
I am not telling you. You might spread it!
Boy: If you do not marry me, I will die for sure.
Girl: Why will you die?
There are so many beautiful girls in this world. You can marry one.
Boy: When a girl like you rejects me,
how can I think of a beautiful girl!
