How do you make gold soup?
You put 24 carrots in it!
From the bottom of our hearts, we wish and hope for nothing but the best for you two.
Be priceless and courageous for each other's endless love.
Wish you a very happy wedding anniversary!
Sadness filled me whenever I miss you.
The thought of not being able to see you,
to touch you and to hold you is softly killing me.
Hope to see you soon because I miss you!
Customer: I'd like your mildest roast, please.
Barista: You have got really average ears!
Wife: Ugh I gained 3 lbs during vacation. What about you?
Me (looking at scale showing I actually lost a pound): I gained 4!
I pointed towards two old drunks sitting across the table in the bar and told my friend "We'll be like that in another 10 years."
He said, "That's a mirror, you idiot!"
The filthiest pub I was ever in was called The Fiddle.
It was a vile inn!
Maybe we don't lose our socks, maybe our socks get a divorce and the one you have is the one who got to keep you!
Parenting is such hard work.
But you know what? At the end of the day?
You are exhausted from all the hard work!
My inflatable house got a puncture last night.
Now, I'm living in a flat!
