My math teacher called me average.
How mean...
A large number of married people are involuntarily celibate.
I wonder if anyone has ever farted so hard that they got a muscle cramp in their anus.
The more you know, the less you learn.
It's somewhat unfair to Achilles, a great warrior and hero, that he is now best known for his one mortal weakness.
We still call it 'Footage' but we measure it in minutes instead of feet.
I just opened my electricity bill and water bill at the same time.
I was shocked.
People tell me I'm skeptical...
but I don't believe them.
I'm just intelligent enough to know that I’m not really that intelligent.
I’m just intelligent enough to know that I’m not really that intelligent.