Just heard about a dwarf who was pickpocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low?
The first 40 years of life are always the hardest!
Now that I have lived through an actual plague, I totally understand why Italian Renaissance paintings are full of naked fat people laying on couches!
I am suspicious of people who don't like dogs.
But I trust a dog when it doesn't like a person!
Don't confuse your path with your destination. Just because it's stormy, it doesn't mean that you are not headed for sunshine!
Hate your job? Don't like spending long hours at work?
The solution is simple, get married. You'll start loving your job!
On March 10th, 1876, Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone.
Exactly after 5 minutes, he received a phone call from his wife asking him why he isn't answering her calls!
I've got a condition that causes me to make terrible puns.
It's a dad-ly disease!
Why didn't 4 ask out 5?
Because he was 2²!
The 20s - Invite everyone! The more the merrier.
The 50s - Do we have to have a party? I hate everyone!
