Lockdown can only go 4 ways.
You will come out a monk, a hunk, a chunk, or a drunk.
Choose wisely!
Zuckerberg claims he wears a gray t-shirt every day because he doesn't want to waste time on things that don't matter.
Well, he founded Facebook!
The Law of Averages is all bullsh*t.
I've been married for fifteen years and I haven't won an argument with my wife even once!
What do you call a kangaroo wearing a sweater?
A wooly jumper!
Tried to take a selfie in the shower.
It turned out all blurry. I think I have selfie steam issues!
My next-door neighbor and I are very good friends, so we decided to share our water supply, because...
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.
.
.
.
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...we got along 'well'!
I have the attention of a goldfish.
Seriously, it's been watching me for hours!
A guy can decline an invitation by saying his girlfriend won't let him go and everyone will likely understand. But if a girl declines an invitation by saying her boyfriend won't let her go, people will likely get concerned!
The reason why shows like Friends and The Office are so loved is that they show us what we truly want in life - a tight-knit social group that we're always a part of, no matter how bad we screw up!
#FriendsReunion
So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn't for throwing at people who stress you out?
