Patient: Doctor, my son swallowed my pen. What should I do?
Doctor: Use a pencil until I get there!
Doctor: Hello Parkinson, do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?
Patient: Good news, please.
Doctor: We are naming a disease after you!
Found out all four of my sons want to be Valets when they grow up.
My doctor says that's the worst case of Parking Sons disease he has ever heard of!
My dentist told me "This might hurt a little bit. Are you ready?" I said, "Yes, I'm ready." He said, "I'm sleeping with your wife!"
My doctor just flirted with me. She said I have a cute appendicitis!
Man: Doctor, my wife is moody all the time, gets angry at me for no reason and never agrees with whatever I say. What could be wrong? Doctor: Everything appears to be normal, so what's your question?
Doctor: Depressed because your girlfriend dumped you? Take this tablet, drink a lot of water, sleep well & you'll be fine in the morning. Bartender: Depressed because your girlfriend dumped you? Drink these shots, call her, tell her to buzz off & you'll be fine in the morning. Choose Wisely!
Doctors life goals: 1. Become a doctor 2. Marry a doctor 3. Make your kids doctor 4. Get them married to a doctor Engineer life goals: 1. Study engineering 2.Tell your siblings not to study engg. 3. Tell everyone not to study engg. 4. Die watching everyone choosing engg.
Doctor: You're so sick.
Me: But you haven't examined me yet.
Doctor: Yes but I happen to read your posts!
When my dentist told me that his tank of nitrous oxide was leaking, we just laughed and laughed and laughed!