I am feeling very unsafe at home due to my wife's comments that I am intolerant.
So I am planning to migrate to Pattaya!
Banta: Why are you so depressed?
Santa: My son has gone off to college and I feel a great emptiness in my life. Specifically, in my checking account!
Jeeto: Suno Ji Jab Hamaari Nayi-Nayi Shaadi Hui Thi Toh Jab Main Khana Bana Kar Laati Thi To Tum Khud Kam Khaate The, Mujhe Zyada Khilate The!
Santa: Toh?
Jeeto: Toh Ab Aisa Kyon Nahi Karte?
Santa: Kyonki Ab Tum Achha Khana Banana Seekh Gayi Ho!
Pati Apni Patni Ki God Mein Leta Hua Tha! Patni Ne Bade Pyaar Se Apne Pati Se Pucha,
"Kaisa Lag Raha Hai?"
Pati: Aisa Lag Raha Hai Jaise Bhagwan Vishnu Sheshnag Ki God Mein Lete Hon!
Banta: What is 'Panic Room'?
Santa: When you forget your phone in the room where your wife is then that room is a 'Panic Room'!
Banta: Where do you find the most homely, beautiful and obedient wives of the world?
Santa: In Karan Johar's movies!
Yeh Award Wapas Karne Wale Us Waqt Kahan The Jab...
Kattappa Ne Dhokhe Se Baahubali Ko Maara Tha!
Jeeto: Whats the meaning of Dhanteras?
Santa: It means, Kaam Mera, Paisa Mera Aur Dhantera's...
Jeeto checked Santa's mobile and found all girls numbers saved in the following order:
New Bird
Neighbour Bird
Old Bird
Upstair Bird
Hospital Bird
Insurance Bird
College Bird
Super Market Bird
Finally she checked her number and it was saved as 'Angry Bird'!
Sometimes I don't feel like going to work but...
Then I remember I was born cute not rich!