Santa went to Mumbai to see the sights and rented a room at a hotel and while checking asked the clerk about the hours for meals.
"We have breakfast from 7 to 11 AM, lunch from 12 noon to 3 PM, Evening Tea from 4 to 7 PM and dinner from 8 too 11 PM", explained the clerk.
"Look here," inquired Santa with surprise, "what time am I going' to see the town?
Santa: I've come back to buy the car I was looking at yesterday.
Salesman: Fine. Now tell me, what was the one dominating thing that made you buy this car?
Santa: My wife!
Traffic Cop: Didn't you see the speed limit sign?
Santa: Yes I did; but I didn't see you!
"Does the razor hurt, sir?" inquired the barber, anxiously.
"Can't say", replied the victim Banta, testily, "but my face does"!
A tourist stopped his car on the road and asked Santa as to how far it was to Bhathinda.
Santa replied, "It's 24,999 miles the way you're going, but if you turn around it ain't but four!
Santa: Is this tea or coffee? It tastes exactly like kerosene.
Waiter: If it tastes like kerosene, it's positively tea - because our coffee tastes like turpentine!
Banta: Has your wife learned to drive the car yet?
Santa: Yes. In an advisory capacity!
Banta: If a tiger attacks your mother-in-law and your wife at the same time, whom would you save?
Santa: Of course, the tiger.
Banta: But why?
Santa: Very few are left!
Santa: What are the fastest means of communication?
Banta: Telephone, Television and Tell-a-woman!
Santa: What did you do with the money you robbed from the bank?
Banta: I deposited it in the same bank!