Banta: What is the secret to eternal happiness?
Santa: To not argue with fools.
Banta: I disagree.
Santa: Yes, you are right!
Jeeto: You are useless.
Pappu: Dad, am I useless?
Santa: No, you are not useless. I can still use you as an example of Useless!
Santa: Why did the tomato blush?
Banta: Why?
Santa: Because he saw the salad dressing!
Banta: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Santa: Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump!
Jeeto: What is more important to you? Relationship or Alcohol?
Santa: Relationship with Alcohol!
Interviewer: It says on your resume that you went to Harvard University.
Santa: Yes, I was visiting my friend!
Pappu: How much does it cost to get married?
Santa: No idea, I'm still paying for it!
Santa: I want to divorce my wife.
Lawyer: On what Grounds?
Santa: She's out all night, every night, going from bar to bar.
Lawyer: Are you saying she's an alcoholic or do you think she's cheating on you?
Santa: No, she's looking for me!
Doctor: Have you been drinking enough fluids lately?
Santa: That's literally all I drink!
Jeeto: Where on earth did you read that scotch has health benefits?
Santa: Whiskeypedia!