Wash your hands like you have been chopping chillies and are about to Masturbate!
All those people resorting to panic buying:
Make sure you stock up condoms, so you don't produce any more idiots!
#Covid_19 #Coronavirus
The Dettol commercial told me to disinfect the things I touch most.
Now I can't pee!
#Covid_19 #Coronavirus
I was so excited when my wife texted me that she wanted to be on top tonight.
Didn't have a clue that she was talking about the bunk bed that we bought last week!
Sex after a certain age should be removed from the list of sins and placed in the list of miracles!
When you hear sounds like aah oh uhh between 9:00 PM and 3:30 AM, it is SEX.
When you hear sounds like aah oh uhh between 9:00 AM and 3:30 PM, it is SENSEX!
If you like having sex while listening to music - always choose a live album. That way you'll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes!
Life is about saying 'fuck it' to those who matter;
And 'fuck you' to those who don't!
I was like 'Whatever Bitches' and the bitches whatevered!
In today's relationship:
You can touch each other's private parts.
But you can't touch each other's cell phones because they are so private!
