Motivational quotes are like orgasms. Pretty moving at the instant but don't last long and you basically seek again!
Ambulances and women have a lot in common. They both make a lot of noise to let you know that they're coming!
Banta: The wife and I fuck like rabbits every night.
Santa: Oh you so lucky. I only get it once a month and I call it the Bruce Lee night.
Banta: Why the fuck do you call it that for?
Santa: Because it's the night I enter the dragon!
Girl 1: Why did you break-up with Vishal?
Girl 2: Kyonki Uska Sirf Naam Hi Vishal Hai!
And then God created the orgasm.
So women can moan even when they are happy!
This guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for 7 shots of vodka. The bartender says, "Wow, must be a big occasion?"
The guy says, "Yeah, my first blowjob."
The bartender says, "How about I give you the 8th shot on the house."
The guy says, "If 7 shots won't get rid of the taste, nothing will!"
The Canadian government, in its eternal wisdom, recently passed two laws.
They are:
1. Legalized gay marriage
2. Legalized marijuana
Legalizing gay marriage and marijuana at the same time now makes perfect Biblical sense.
Leviticus 20:13 says: "If a man lies with another man, they should be stoned."
Apparently, we just hadn't interpreted it correctly before!
Abdul: I am banging two twins these days.
Friend: How do you differentiate between them?
Abdul: It's easy. One colours her nails pink and the other has a dick!
5 Science words to avoid saying when your class is finally on task:
1. Organism
2. Uranus
3. Fungus
4. Stamen
5. Pistill
I read that on an average Indian couples have sex twice a week, whereas Japanese couples have sex only once in six months.
I had no idea I was Japanese!
