Sometimes I feel like running away. Then I remember how much I hate running!
What do you call people who don't believe in going to the gym?
GymNastiks!
My life is a constant battle between my love of food and not wanting to get fat!
Brain cells, hair cells and skin cells - they all die constantly, but freaking fat cells seem to have eternal life!
If you're not supposed to eat late at night, then why is there a light in the refrigerator!
I've decided to get into shape. The shape of a potato!
Some people can eat 5 burgers and not gain a pound.
I click 'like' on a picture of Nuttela jar and gain 5 pounds!
Thought of the day:
Doughnuts alone won't fill the emptiness in your soul... you'll also need chocolate milk!
Not to brag but I finished this 14 day diet in 3 hours and 38 minutes!
I wish I was a cat because the fatter you are the more people like you!